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It was a decent work day.� I felt generally optimistic all day without any real cause for it.� At least not in the discernable-and-knowing-why sense of it.� My work shift was a little off of my regular stroke so that was a nice twist to start things off... Not that this was some sort of day full of twists because it wasnapos;t.� It had an unexpected moment or two to enjoy though.

The weather was a rapidly changing force swirling through the entire gamut of Washingtonapos;s general repertoire.� I enjoyed the fact that I�could look out the window and at almost any time expect to see an almost entirely new scene or season.� It made for nice conversation food.� A minor element of excitement even.� A mellow dramatic posture.

I also got a phone call from Allison.� I was not able to take the call when it was originally placed due to work so I had to bide my time in curious anticipation as for the reason of her call.� As soon as I could I�checked the message she left and found it to be a positively friendly point.� Once I got on my lunch break I�was able to return the call and engage in a pleasant chat for most of my break.� It all left me in a good mood which has extended all throughout the remaining hours of the day.� I was already in a good mood so the momentum was not entirely difficult to continue but it has been a nice effect regardless.� A needed effect, even.

And that is how it has done today.� In a good way.� And I would like more of it sometime.� Obviously.� Ha.

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There is such peace in such horror
We know the answers
We avoid them

Why do we run from what we long for most?�
Simply because we canapos;t have it all?
Our reasons are undefined

I wish I could write the way that I used to. I canapos;t believe that heapos;s with his old girl, and I canapos;t believe the other boy doesnapos;t even love me the way he said. Iapos;m chasing after a fake love. I guess I was too afraid to admit, I am a hopeless romantic. I hope thereapos;s a boy that loves me one day.

�

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I run my fingers through your hair;
Tracing gently so as not to hurt.
The feather light touch of barely there.
Using sense of touch to flirt.

You turn so I�have access to your face,
Iapos;d never have the courage to move first.
I need to caress your skin of silk and lace,
Like a forgotten hunger or unquenched thirst.

I trace your classic features lightly,
I wan tto thank and worship you.
I lean into you slightly,
Hoping the shift will alert you.

You donapos;t notice my maneuver
But roll so I can have more of you.
I revel in the feel of you in closer
And wish there was more time with you.

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My brother has a crazy old alarm clock. Heapos;s had it since he was ten or maybe a little older and itapos;s losing its mind. I walked through his bedroom to go into the bathroom and it started honking at me (Itapos;s the Scooby Doo ghost van) and it was still honking a few minutes ago when I went into my bedroom to finish getting dressed. I tried to turn it off and it was already off so I smacked some buttons until it stopped honking. Fun.
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I defend you to the brink because I�know that you would do the same for me. Even though I would do it anyway. Because I believe you, and I�believe in you. You believe in me. You are the first one who has ever called me strong. You are so many of my firsts.

I want to do so much for you. All I really want is to be with you. I canapos;t explain. And I wonapos;t try. Actions speak louder than words.

"I love you" means... You tell me. I�want you always. I wonapos;t let us lose contact. I would never forgive myself.

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Is it sad that today was the first day I really felt like a college student? >>; Especially considering I didnapos;t even class today... >>;

Met my partner today in my English research project, and Iapos;m too tired to go into real detail, but basically my partner and I have to find any and all reviews of the play Private Lives from when it started in the 1930s until now. We donapos;t have to do any of our own writing, itapos;s simply printing, scanning, and photocopying whatever we can find.

And in the process of todayapos;s research, I got to use microfiiiiilm. :DDDD I have no clue why, but thatapos;s what I always associated with college students, research on microfilm. It was so exciting and ridiculous. I kind of want to live on the microfilm machine, itapos;s a really weird thing to be in love with, but I am. >>;

IN OTHER NEWS, OH MY GOD THIS WEEKapos;S HOUSE EPISODE, OH MY GOD. POSSIBLY THE BEST EPISODE EVER?

Did we know how Wilson and House met before this? Because the storyapos;s amazing. D:

Also, Mother 3apos;s translation came out today I started playing and Iapos;m only about an hour into the game, and itapos;s already so depressing, ohmygod. ;-; But the musicapos;s amaaaaazing. And I really do love that series. D: <3

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Lieve Eef,

Inmiddels ruim zeven jaar geleden leerde ik je kennen en sindsdien ben je altijd in mn leven geweest. Onze vriendschap begon als gezellig op de vrijdag middag klooien op orkest maar is inmiddels een van de dierbaarste dingen die ik heb. Ik wist altijd al dat je ontzettend veel voor me betekent, dat je er altijd voor me bent en voor me klaarstaat. Maar toen je de afgelopen week er eventjes niet was, omdat je nu eindelijk eens aan jezelf gaat denken, besefte ik me nog eens extra hoeveel ik van je hou. Je bent mn steun en toeverlaat, mn rots in de branding, mn balans, mn maatje.

Ik wil dat je weet dat ik er voor je ben op de momenten dat jij dat wilt en nodig hebt. Ik geloof niet dat ik dat hoef te zeggen, omdat je dat wel weet, maar ik zeg het toch.
Lieve Eef, ik ben er voor je en ik hou ontzettend veel van je.
Hou je taai
Dikke knuffel,
Lot

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all I can say is that I have nothing to look forward to, nothing that excites me right now...I donapos;t know why things arenapos;t well for me right now...well the problem is on me I guess, coz right now the theme of my life is "untheme" meaning no theme, no motto or whatsoever...and it is a mix of emotions I guess, well I�feel fine that nothing excites me and on the other hand I feel bad that nothing new happens in my life, well I am a free man right now, free to do anything but still just like before I am still the same, nothing have change it is still the same me, avoding every opportunities it is always a No, No, No and more No on situations, I try to avoid everything...when I am near on to something different and new, I begin to think twice and make an excuse so that I can say No just like before, Iapos;ve said No a lot of times, tons of times before, and up until now, that is something I feel bad about, maybe it is the one thing I need to change for me to appreciate life more, well Iapos;ll never know unless I do try, but before I even get ask I already say No, why...I just feel bad about myself...and I hope something that Iapos;ve been waiting for a long time will come one of these days...we never know what will happen...

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dromed

1. Your Name: Jo
abbreviation for jack off

OKAY NOT FUNNY I KNEW IT WOULD GIVE ME THAT

2. Your Age: 37
Number often used in fiction because it is inconspicuous: A prime number greater than 25 but less than 50

... �I have nothing

3. One Of Your Friends:�� Alexandra
One of the best friends you could ever meet. Sometimes quiet and patient but when sheapos;s around a group shes wild and fun. She is always there to listen to you and give you a hug if you need one. She is willing to try anything and is very athletic. She can talk for hours or just have no idea whatapos;s going on. She is an overall great person to be around.

Yep, thatapos;s about right.

4. What You Should Be Doing:�� Writing the ALEP�post for TheOneRing.net
a kind of love that thats annoying as hell and makes you want to pull your hair out. It keeps you up and night, and it makes you think about the world entirely differently. Its a passion that is unlike any other. It overides everything in your life.

Thatapos;s writing all right

5. Your Favorite Color:� �Blue
The hue of the portion of the visible spectrum lying between green and indigo, evoked in a human observer by radiant energy with wavelengths of approximately 420 to 490 nanometers.

How factual.. And how BORING

6. Your Birthplace:�� Atlanta
A city with lots of rich people in the north end, and lots of (other) �types in the south end. Also lots of traffic, new economy jobs, and Coca-cola.

I�edited a word, but the rest of it is true.�

7. Last Person You Talked To:�� Michael

MICHAEL is the #4 most common male name.
2.629 of men in the US are named MICHAEL.
Around 3220525 US men are named MICHAEL

Again, factual and boring. �Michael Cook was not defined yet.� My definition would be:��Lord of the Nethers

8. Last Thing You Had To Drink:�� Coca-Cola
Better than Pepsi.

Amen

9. Your Nickname:�� Jop
Person who is an extremely�**$# �ass-fuck with no life.

It gave a term for a gay person there that I did not approve of.




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